Shoes, Shopping and Memories for Momma

Oh man....I am back! I need to make sure not forget that in my moments of motherhood-insanity, that this is my confessional and some sort of cheap therapy. Although, I have to admit, that I would MUCH RATHER be shopping for a jaw dropping pair of shoes that I probably would not have any reason to wear anytime soon!

That seems to be all that I can think of lately....shopping. Good ol' retail therapy. The problem is, that my font of cashola has seemingly dried up here in Portland. I cannot wait to get the heck outta Dodge. The economy hit this town hard and modeling crashed and burned. So while I strap on my stilettos and do runway shows or a print shoot here and there the pay is next to nothing and I end up doing it for the sake of hanging out with adults and reliving a few minutes of a former life of fabulosity. ;)

I tend to find myself missing the "good ol' days" a little too much lately. I miss hopping on a plane to Italy, Miami, NY, Asia... I miss that newness, the butterflies in the stomach as my plane would land....I miss hearing all of the new languages, smelling new smells, eating new foods, meeting new friends...and WORKING. Yeah, I miss all that. I wouldn't trade my kids in for the world, but a momma is allowed her memories...and I have some pretty darned good ones!

So do I go on-line and browse the latest collection of Italian leather boots or do I buckle down and turn on a 20 minute work-out video to work off some of this turkey and pumpkin pie? Ugh....tough one. Something tells me the boots are gonna win out. Even if I just sit here and stare at them!

I Wanna Get Paid for This!!!

I can honestly say that in 6 years I have not had a decent night of sleep.....make that 6 years and some months, seeing as those last months of pregnancy had me peeing every 2.5 seconds and feeling like my uterus was lodged safely in my throat.

And this is despite the fact that I had my kids both sleeping through the night by 8 and 10 weeks of age....12 solid hours....but somehow, once you give birth you just never sleep the same again. You wake up in random states of panic wondering if your kid is breathing or still safely tucked in bed...you hear every noise within a 10 mile radius that sounds remotely like a cough, sneeze, whimper, or burglar breaking in, you sleep ZERO hours a night when your kids get sick (and if you have a small child that has started any type of day care or school then this sickness thing lingers for a good 9 months out of each year)....it's insanity.

I gotta say, I adore my kids. I would both kill for them and die for them, but dammit if I can't admit that I absolutely hate not getting a real night of sleep. I can't beleive how taken for granted true slumber is by nonbreeders...sleep is a luxury once you become a parent, apparently it's not a necessity.....So, besides all the random stress that comes with popping out bebes, the sleep thing makes me want to demand payment for these parental sacrificial services. Come on...really...we pay huge dividends to Car Manufacturers and other forms of Big Biz...why not pay moms and dads for making sure the country remains populated? And I mean, pay those of us that are actually raising our kids, drowning in coffee in the mornings and vino at night just to make it through the day...the 24 hour a day nanny-havers don't count. They should be taxed instead....

And now back to my 60 oz cup of joe......I'll try to keep my Cape & Tights off today....

Heidi Montag Makes Me Sick

I swore I would try to keep my celeb rants to a minimum....but this girl has been making me ill for a while and now I have to be exposed to her on the cover of People Mag boasting that she has had 10 more plastic surgery procedures. VOMITOUS.

So why do I loathe this girl? She is a celebrity and making heaps of money for being nothing more than vapid. No talent, no intelligence, nothing....just happened to be at the right place at the right time. She is "married" to Spencer Pratt who I thought was the epitome of an a-hole....until I started to realize that he has a better brain in his skull than she has.....he doesnt want kids now and she does. I'm a mother....I know how truly sacrificing and difficult it is to have a kid and here you have some superficila dimwit insisting that she wants babies. COME ON! Babies are NOT accessories, nor are they lapdogs that you can carry around in a pink bag.

And now the plastic surgeries. At 23 she has undergone over 12 procedures....and now she looks like a pornstar. This is what young girls have to look up too? What is she telling the youth of America? That going under the knife is the only way to feel happy with yourself? I am not against cosmetic surgery, but I do believe there is a time and place for it. This girl is sad and obviously has issues....and her issues are splashed on every tabloid and entertainment show on TV for all of us to see. I'm over it....

Models have been given a bad rap for being skinny and making the average woman and teenaged girls want to live up to an impossible physical goal. I can say with certainty that less models get work done than these vacuous reality stars. Most models are genetically blessed with "skinny genes" and flawless or interesting features....it is the bimbo-esque celebutantes that are setting the worst goals for girls and other women....these girls, like Heidi, are telling us all that if we don't like a body part we should shave it off with a scalpel. Nice.

I have a daughter who will be 3 years old next month and I pray to God that she too is disgusted by girls like Heidi....and that she isnt glamorized by them. This is a sad, sad society we live in...where girls like that are given red carpet status...while somewhere out there in the halls of an Ivy League, another 23 year old woman is working on a possible cure for cancer or autism...and that girl gets no cred.

Save us all.

I'm Back, Alive...Kind Of....

So the last month of 2009 had me cursing the entire year, loathing it and bidding it a very happy farewell on NYE. Two days after Thanksgiving our family got hit by the H1N1 flu. Thankfully my kids only had a cough and 48 hours of 104 fevers and that was it. My husband literally only got a light cough and I.....I GOT HIT BY A TON OF SWINE BRICKS.

Normally, I don't let myself get sick....even with stomach flus I have powered through the illnesses and managed to run the tight ship I call my home. Not this time. I had fevers of up to 105, hallucinating, sever bodyaches, and I would either be freezing to death or burning up to the point where I would literally drench my clothes several times an hour. After 5 days of this hell and constant daydreaming of taking a long walk off of a very short bridge, my fever broke and I was well. Weak but well. A week later my cough had turned into bronchitis and then a sinus infection emerged. I literally spent the last 6 weeks of 2009 sick, snotty and feeling myself rot. Lovely.

I still don't know where or how we got the swine....since no one else we know got it...and no kids at my childrens' schools had it either. All I know is that I am glad it's over and any bad karma I mayhave accumulated in my past is now paid off with interest. I have since become a HUGE fan (if not addict) of Kombucha tea. I drink it daily and so far so good. This is, of course, hitting my wallet hard....the stuff ain't cheap...but when you've been as ill as I was, you will sell your soul not to feel like that again dammit!

And you may think I am crazy, but I am still glad that we did NOT get the H1N1 vaccine. I am not an anti-vacc nazi....but I have learned enough about vaccines and how the Pharm companies and the FDA treat us ALL like guinea pigs to shun placing some random, truly untested crap into my body or my childrens' bodies. News reports in Europe have stated that many people have died from the actual vaccine....not a chance I want to take with my kids...or myself for that matter. I also love how we don't hear about deaths from the vaccine on the news here. Oh man...my conspiracy theorist side is coming out now.....LOL!

Anyways....we went through it and lived to tell the tale. Like nature intended. And I am just glad to be through that guantlet of pestilence. Let health and this new decade begin! :)