Get Off the Road!

(From Confessions of a Model Mom)

There are some days, today for one, when I drive around town to run a few errands or go to a job, and I am just flabbergasted at the driving skills (or lack thereof) of a lot of the people I am sharing the road with. I was born and raised in Los Angeles and I thought that when I moved to Portland, Oregon I would notice a difference in the way people drive.....wrong! Despite the fact that in LA, at any given time of the day you are not going faster than 10 mph on the freeway because of the traffic and everyone drives a luxury SUV, people in Portland drive just as horribly.
Apparently, using the turn signals is not a skill deemed necessary by the DMV for people to obtain a driver's license. And when someone does use a turn signal to change lanes, say, on the freeway, it seems like most people find it appropriate to speed up therefore prohibiting the person using their blinker to change lanes and in many instances miss their exit.
I also love and appreciate those individuals who find it difficult to go the speed limit....ever. There are the ones who drive 10 miles below the speed limit which inevitably materialize in front of your car everytime you need to get somewhere in a hurry....especially when you are on a one lane road. And then there are the maniacal drivers who always seem to be driving some enormous tank-like vehicle and who insist on going twice as fast as the law allows and end up tailgating you 2 inches from your back bumper, flashing their brights and yelling obscenities. Nothing makes me feel more secure, especially when my son is in the backseat.
People who drift across lanes without checking their mirrors or blindspots are always fun too or who open their car doors after parking and leave them wide open so that you cringe as you drive past barely skimming their doors or their backsides as they bend over into their front seat to scrounge up some change for the meter. These kinds of drivers make your everyday driving expereince turn into something akin to an obstacle course video game....and I am just not able to comprehend how people this completely out of it can possibly pass any type of driving test.
And of course there are the miscreants who get loaded and decide that a liter of whisky or a pipeful of crack can't possibly impair their driving abilities.....
One of these days I am going to wrap my car in industrial strength bubble wrap and install a neon light on the back of my car telling tailgaters to back-off......until then I guess I just have to keep on white knuckling it and holding my breath every time I get behind the wheel.